


So that happened again... (I feel you)

by NaraMerald



Series: Team Human [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 80sBand!TeamHuman!, Allison on mic, AwHellNaw!Danny, But Lydia and Jackson are kind of into mommy jokes, Crack, Danny on drums, Derek gets freaked out by daddy jokes, Everyone Is Alive, Gen, I'veGotAnIdea!Stiles, Lydia on Bass, Oops!Explosions!, Poor Life Choices, Resigned!Lydia, Skanky80sMusicLover!Allison, Stiles on Keytar, Team Human, That stupid fire guitar from Mad Max, awful 80s everything, old characters because who are the new characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 08:30:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5960860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaraMerald/pseuds/NaraMerald
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So… are you telling me you want us to impersonate an 80s cover band to sneak into a Hunter conference?!” Danny asks incredulously.<br/>“Essentially…. Yes.” Stiles replies after a pause.<br/>“Absolutely not,” Lydia says at the same time as Allison pipes up “YES! I’ve been waiting for this forever! …What? I’m just saying…”<br/>(This, this right here, is exactly why Derek doesn’t want to leave them alone.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	So that happened again... (I feel you)

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended pre-fic watching:  
> ‘I Feel You’ by the Wondergirls. (This song inspired this fic.) 
> 
> “What? I’m just saying…” is from the amazing Fired Up.

Stiles doesn’t know what Team Grrr (his own tag) does when they have their little meetings, but he’s pretty sure he thinks he knows what they think Team Human do. Wow, that’s surprisingly convoluted. He shakes his head a bit, as if the thought pains him.

“Do they think we just sit around here and paint our nails?!” Allison rants, pissed off.

“We did that once,” Danny reminds her.

“Or get drunk?” She continues, on a roll.

“Did that too,” Stiles has to admit.

“Or cross dress?” Allison’s tone turns thoughtful.

“You’re actually just listing things we do,” Lydia informs her.

“Can we do that again though?” Allison asks, and Stiles, well, he wouldn’t be adverse to it. Danny’s legs are amazing in stockings. Danny is staring at Allison.

“What? I’m just saying…” Allison mutters, before sitting down.

“Well, aside from the shopping trip, I do actually have something for us. A… project if you will,” Stiles grins.

“No, whatever it is, no,” Danny groans. Lydia is watching with interest, but waits for Stiles to explain, and explain he does.

It takes a while, and their faces go through many expressions before he comes to his conclusion.

“… anyway, so long story short, the conference is sort of a conglomerate of Hunters and they all seem to like 80s music. Perfect, right?”

“So… are you telling me you want us to impersonate an 80s cover band to sneak into a Hunter conference?!” Danny asks incredulously.

“Essentially…. yes.” Stiles replies after a pause.

“Absolutely not,” Lydia says at the same time as Alison pipes up “YES! I’ve been waiting for this forever!”

Everyone stares at her. “…What? I’m just saying…”

“How would we even get the songs down in time? Can anyone even sing? Or play?” Danny asks despairingly.

“How hard can it be?” Lydia asks, unimpressed.

“I thought you were against this,” Danny mutters.

“Well, if we can find a singer…” Stiles begins.

“I’ll sing!” interrupts Allison enthusiastically.

“Great, we’re half way there,” Stiles grins.

“Don’t you mean a quarter?” Lydia arches a brow.

“I’ve dabbled in keytar,” Stiles admits.

“That’s so cool!” Allison grins and high fives him, ignoring the twin “I don’t know you” looks coming from Lydia and Danny.

“Well, I want drums…” Danny decides.

“That leaves you with bass,” Allison smiles winningly at Lydia.

“Fine,” she sneers, and then they spend the next three hours arguing over songs.

 

…

 

“Is there a reason you are obsessively listening to 80s music lately Stilinski?” Jackson sneers.

“Oh, I thought you liked the 80s… you do go around in a leather jacket,” Stiles snipes back.

“Oooh burn!” Erica grins.

“No but seriously… if I never have to hear that song again…” Scott mutters.

“I Feel You… Even when I’m alone, I feel your touch…” Allison sings along as breathily as she can.

“Why are you…” Derek lets his sentence trail off in distaste. Stiles meets Lydia’s gaze in the mirror and sooo looks forward to this.

“Oh, we’re starting a band,” he answers blithely. In any normal group, this would be met with laughter or questions. In a van of human lie detectors the wolves all stare at him in horror, unable to detect his pulse changing.

“Lydia…” Jackson turns pleadingly to his girlfriend.

“What Jackson? Do you not think I can play the bass?” Lydia asks archly and Jackson has learnt well enough when to shut up.

“Why…” Derek grinds out, but Stiles just begins singing along instead of responding.

 

…

 

Practice goes reasonably well- Lydia and Allison buy ridiculous costumes (“Wetlook leotards… fucking sick!” “I can’t believe I’m shopping in American Apparel- this has to be the low point of my life.”) and Stiles roams the op shops finding gold in two terrible suits for himself and Danny. Danny won’t do much more than hit the synth drums they bought online (they bought everything online and charged it to Peter’s credit card) and sway from side to side but Stiles, Lydia and Allison actually have a sort of shuffling routine down. Then Allison freestyles, and it’s like terrible 80s pornography as she runs her fingers over her leotard and shakes her hair while grinding into the floor.

“Wow,” Danny mutters.

“What?” Allison thrusts her hips with a grin, “I’m just saying.”

“You’re a little too into this,” Danny sighs.

“Is that possible?” Stiles indicates his ( _sick_ ) keytar.

“How did I sink so low?” Lydia asks herself, eyeing the leotard she’s practising in in distaste.

The best thing, Stiles decides, is that they are actually improving. They’re genuinely not bad at ‘I feel you’ but…

“The problem is going to be when they realise we only know _one song…_ ” Danny points out, again.

“Yeah well… we perform at the end of the conference so… basically distraction and then bail. Besides, Allison can freestyle some shit,” Stiles says dismissively.

Lydia and Danny look to where Allison is practising her dance moves. They are not appropriate for children.

“Fuck,” Danny mutters.

They resolve to begin a second song. But that’s all the hunter conference get- 2 songs, then Allison freestyling. They haven’t quite overcome the problem of how to escape with their instruments yet. (Stiles thinks Lydia looks secretly upset at the thought of leaving them behind.)

…

“We need to get to that conference!” Derek snaps, but straightens when he sees Stiles coming. Stiles knows that Team Grrr have been plotting away, trying to spare Team Human from any action, but really, protecting them from a conference of 80s music lovers? C’mon.

Stiles pitches the idea of Team Human attempting to infiltrate the conference. It goes as well as expected.

“No! We can find another way,” Derek growls. So after a silent conversation with their eyes (Allison: ‘Are we giving up?’ Stiles: ‘No way!’ Danny: ‘I thought it would be like this. Sigh.’ Lydia: ‘Well I didn’t learn the bass for nothing.’) they shrug.

Team Grrr notices their eye contact, but Stiles figures they think they’re sulking or plotting. Stiles is sure they’ll be watching closely for the next few days but too bad for them; the planning is already done. Now it’s just the playing that needs to happen. Honestly? He’s looking forward to it.

He turns to Derek with a ridiculous pout.

“OMG dad, we get it! You can go out for your moonlit run and we’ll try our absolute hardest not to die on you!” Stiles grumbles.

“Don’t call me dad.” Derek gets this amazing facial combination of discomfort, fear and constipation when Stiles needles him. It’s great. (The others adore it too.)

“Yes daaaaad!” Stiles doesn’t know when to stop, but he knows he’s certainly just getting started when Derek’s eyebrow twitches.

“…” Derek grinds his teeth.

“Daddy?” Stiles tries cheekily.

“Don’t go there man,” Scott begs.

“Definitely go there,” Allison snickers.

Kira has her face in her palms and Erica is enjoying this far, far too much.

“Oh daddy, please tell me what to do!” Stiles coos at Derek, who takes a step back looking like he has a headache.

“Fuck this man,” Jackson mutters.

“Ignore him,” Lydia says coolly, before mouthing at Allison ‘He calls me mommy and he likes it.’

Allison gives an extremely unsubtle thumbs up. Isaac looks like he wants to cry, or vomit. Stiles isn’t sure which. Honestly, these moments are why he loves spending time with the pack, even if Derek does try to baby Team Human and has no idea how not to overdo training for Team Grr.

“You know, aside from this fucked up conversation, we’ve got some pretty solid reasons to be worried…” Boyd mentions.

“Like that time we left and you were attacked by those other wolves. Or the time with the travelling clairvoyant,” Isaac pipes up, entirely unnecessarily.

“Oh, or that time Stiles got kicked out of the strip club!” Kira grins.

“What?!” Derek yelps.

“Oooh, was that a secret? My bad,” Kira winces.

“Not anymore, apparently…” Stiles sighs.

“Let’s not forget the religious camp…” Erica snickers.

“Yeah if I never hear ‘pray away the gay’ again it will still be too soon,” Danny mutters.

“Well, their flyer was very misleading…” Allison tries.

“Look, we’re busy anyway. We’ve got our first gig that weekend, alright?” Lydia states for the record, annoyed that she’s being interrogated. The wolves subside, knowing they’re not being lied to.

Pity for them they don’t realize that the gig is at the conference. Honestly? Allison and Stiles are excited. (Danny still looks on this as the most embarrassing thing he’s done in his life. Lydia refuses to admit she’s kind of enjoying it.)

…

It’s at this point that they have their two songs down, their shitty choreography (which Allison frequently throws to the wind in order to rub herself against the microphone stand or gyrate aggressively), their shitty CD (“Stiles, where the fuck did you find these photos? And this is like, the second worst photoshop job I’ve seen in my life…”) and they’re plotting about escape routes.

They’d rather just pack up their stuff and walk out the door, but they may find they need a distraction. Stiles and Lydia are nothing if not thorough in their planning.

“Ooh, big explosions,” Allison grins, filing a nail.

“Seriously?” Danny sighs, with all the torment of the person being the one-voice-of-reason™.

“Actually, if we want a distraction…” Lydia taps her nails on her chin thoughtfully.

“Am I even going to survive our performance, let alone this stupid conference?” Danny begins to worry. Really, he should have started worrying far more, far earlier.

“Who can say?” Stiles says whimsically, and begins debating the merits of various chemicals. And honestly, after watching the flame guitar on Mad Max, he’s just a little inspired…

Danny groans and puts his head in his hands, as the familiar sounds of the keytar start up again.

…

Team Grr are really, really shithouse at planning. And subtlety. And everything. Like, did they not realise Stiles, Lydia and Danny were in Team Human? How did they think they were going to carry off any plan and keep them in the dark? (Stiles pointedly does not include Allison, whose subtlety at the moment is limited to practising stripping off a soft, furry cardigan as sexually as she can in front of a mirror.)

Stiles sighs and ignores their heated (yet quickly stifled whenever he ventured too near) debates at the table and throws himself into finalising their own plans.

Also, discovering where they can get their hands on those chemicals.

(Lydia, he decides for approximately the 1004th time, is a scary woman.)

…

It’s time for them to travel to the conference. Extremely conveniently, Team Grr have already left, stalking out into the forest rather dramatically.

“I feel like we’re on a daytime soap opera,” Danny says somewhat blankly, as Derek gives them a piercing look and then melts into the treeline.

“Yep,” Stiles isn’t even arguing this one.

The jeep is their designated mode of transport- and while Lydia and Danny pretended resignation at first, they’re now singing along to “Don’t you (forget about me)” and “Locomotion” loudly. Allison passed around the red lipstick at the truckstop they had lunch at, and now they’re all sporting lovely red lips, though Stiles had to guilt Danny into it by telling him not to ‘encourage rigid gender stereotypes’.

They’re wailing “(I just) Died in your arms tonight” as they pull into the conference area. Danny has managed to become the most dramatic, Lydia the loudest, which is honestly surprising given Allison’s enthusiasm. Still, no questions are asked when they begin to unload their equipment, which consists of the shittiest sound system ever, 2 leotards, 2 suits and their instruments. Stiles notes that the hunters are a generally suspicious bunch but there’s something about the sight of his keytar that makes one mullet-wearing hunter give him a giant thumbs up.

“This is like taking candy from a baby,” Danny whispers, amazed.

“And what an ugly baby it is,” Lydia comments, terrified as a hunter with a pink parachute tracksuit walks past them.

“This is why my parents never attended,” Allison says, slightly sadly.

“This is… like, I didn’t realise how funny it would be?” Stiles offers, confused.

“I will never be able to see hunters the same way,” Danny snickers.

“Without mullets?” Lydia offers.

“And 80s makeup…” he says shuddering.

“Danny…” Lydia gestures to his lipstick.

“What? _Ours_ looks hot, I’m just saying,” Allison argues, hauling a speaker down.

“Can I help you missy?” A hunter comes over and Stiles actually loses his shit at the look on Lydia’s face. The hunter is toting a rifle on his back and an array of what look like … ferret tails? hanging off of a brace on his belt. Stiles starts laughing and then pretends to be coughing, extremely unbelievably.

Danny attempts to help his (weak) subterfuge, coming over and smacking him on the back so hard he does actually start coughing. (Stiles figures it’s deliberate. He’s right.) The hunter has a short conversation with Allison, who appears to struggle, seeing Stiles practically folded in half choking-laughing. But after a polite goodbye, the hunter walks off.

“Is this a convention of the worst dressed hick hunters?” Lydia demands, glaring at Stiles.

“Also, great work laughing asshole,” she aims a kick at Stiles, throwing her hands up when she realises he’s got actual tears of laughter running down his face.

“Let’s get some selfies,” Allison decides.

“Do NOT post them,” Danny groans, picturing Derek seeing them and hitting the roof.

“But afterwards… like, then it would be really funny,” Stiles admits. Lydia caves quickly, as if she too needs to be in an image with several dead animal tails and some missing teeth. Stiles honestly needs to find that dude again.

Sometimes with Stiles’ plans, they know immediately that they’re bad ideas. This one may be Stiles’ finest.

…

Hilariously, they get a bonus for coming a day early, as they are supposed to perform on Sunday. They’ve planned their reason for showing up on Saturday- an 80s ‘pop-up disco’ that has them in more sequins and fluro than they’ve ever worn together before. Allison was their plausible entry as the children of hunters who have formed an 80s band and pop-up Disco. The hunters think this is AMAZING. Aside from one guy who does not seem to like 80s music (and what kind of conference does he think this is, exactly?) no one seems upset or suspicious that the four of them are wandering around.

Allison even had an impromptu sing-off in the bathroom with two women (and one man- joining in from the other side of the toilet block).

This is why Stiles finds it 100% hilarious that not only have they infiltrated the conference, they’ve actually managed to derail some of the sessions. The first one was a boring, ceremonial welcome that was a waste of time, as the beginning of most conferences so often were. (Stiles noticed a few hunters sneaking in towards the end of the welcome ceremony and pretending to have been there from the start.) Session number 2 was the ferret guy talking about shooting wolves. Stiles was nearly upset at the thought of his friends being used for pelts, until one of the other hunters sceptically asked how many werewolf pelts he’d collected and the embarrassed reply was “zero”.

Stiles was starting to get the idea that maybe these hunters weren’t the ones they had to worry about. When Allison accidentally started a not-so-silent disco in the back of one Gerald-esque hunter’s lecture on torturing wolves, well, there was a clear winner and it wasn’t the hunter. Fuming, the hunter watched as row by row, the hunter community was jumping up and singing softly along to “Echo beach”. Stiles thought things were going magnificently.

Lunch was an impressive array of roasted meats with a single bowl of what looked suspiciously like limp lettuce mixed with peas, corn and carrots. No one said a word when they helped themselves to lunch, or dinner later that night by the campfire. Stiles figured yet another positive was free food. Sure, it might be laced with wolfsbane, from the way the angry hunter was watching them like a hawk, but since they weren’t Weres, Stiles didn’t see a problem.

Then that night when they plugged Allison’s playlist in, they encouraged so much drinking that Stiles figured they had sessions 1 & 2 empty the next morning. (He was right.) There were a few names and faces he wanted to watch in the future- crazy extremist hunters who wanted to exterminate all wolves, but they were the minority. There was a rather moderate (and incredibly boring) speaker who actually seemed to only kill wolves who went bad- it was a pity, Stiles felt, that even he fell asleep midway. The third session on Sunday was a hunter who seemed to be a few scoops short of an ice cream… she rambled nonsensically for a while about a witch and eventually was politely escorted off-stage at the end of her allotted time.

They were setting up for their set when Lydia went tight-lipped, directing Stiles with her eyes. He saw a flash of fur through an outside window and wanted to roll his eyes. Were they serious? Sending _Scott_ on a stealth mission? Well then, they just had to make this performance flashy, and loud.

Rather than rely on a pre-arranged signal (they probably should have had one, Stiles thought in hindsight) he just yelled “Let’s get loud!” and waited for everyone to react. Turning up the volume on their equipment, the crowd of hunters (and there seemed to be double the people in the room, compared to the lectures?) cheered for them, starting to stand up and stomp their feet.

The familiar strains of “I feel you” drifted to the crowd who roared, clearly impressed by Stiles’ thrusting behind the keytar. He actually sees the moment a hunter at the back sees Scott (Can he not? Really?) and tries to shout. Allison is on the ball and drops to the ground to keep the hunters’ attention focussed on her, only she actually drops the microphone too. As they continue playing (they’re not good enough to stop and start, or add any parts) so they’ll play the “long version” and just play the second verse again until Allison can sing. Allison meanwhile crawls sexily on the floor pulling some extraordinary moves, trying to stealthily collect the microphone.

Danny flexes his arms as he smashes the drums (impressing hunters of all genders) and finally Allison gets to the mic in time for the chorus.

“I’ve fallen for you and I can’t escape…” Allison sings, laying on her back on the floor, flexing her legs in the air. Now Stiles can actually see Jackson though the window, in human form, and gaping at his girlfriend’s best friend rolling over the floor throatily declaring  
“I only think about running to you”.

Jeez. And the wolves worry about Team Human.

Still, Stiles can see the hunter at the back persistently trying to shout and point about the extremely unsubtle wolves running around staring at their girlfriends’ 80s coverbands. For now, the hunters’ attention is focussed on Allison, Ferret guy pumping his fists as he moves closer to the stage to sing along. But as Jackson does not seem to have moved (WHY JACKSON?!) Stiles decides maybe it’s time for their executive plan.

With his signature “YEWWWWWWW” screech (he practised it to get the crowd hyped), the others step back in alarm as he presses the button that makes his guitar spew fire. A few things happen in quick succession; ferret-hunter gets a little too enthusiastic and moves close, too close. His mullet tail catches fire and he begins screeching, trying to beat the fire on his head out with one of his ferrets.

This however, also catches fire and with a bellow, the hunter throws the flaming ferret tail into the room where it brushes the roof, setting the roof on fire and then falling onto the head of the crazy witch hunter who is now screaming about curses.

All the while Stiles, Lydia and Allison are harmonising “I’m going crazier and crazier”. With a shrug, Stiles resolves they’re almost finished the song so why not continue?

They play out the final notes as hunters quickly run to the door, before quickly grabbing as much of their equipment as they can (The drums get let behind but the bass, keytar, and one of the speakers make it) and legging it. The roof did take a while to catch fire, so they have time, along with the hunters standing numbly in the carpark, to watch the building slowly go up in flames.

The ferret hunter approaches and Stiles tenses, unsure how the encounter will go. But he just claps a hand on Danny’s back, before saying to them “Great gig! Pity about the fire…” as if the fire hadn’t been caused by the five of them, and had in fact been some sort of faultless, innocent surprise.

Another hunter comes up to them, looking mournfully at the conference centre.

“About that bonus…” he begins.

“We understand,” Stiles says comfortingly.

“Pity we can’t have you back again next year…” he does look genuinely sorry, before a lady comes up.

“We thought you were great value, but the conference will probably be cancelled for a few years until we can pay off this conference centre…” the lady (who is literally wearing a badge saying “Treasurer” on it… it’s all so surreal…)

“But perhaps after that?” Allison offers with a smile. They all nod their heads, praising the bands' 'dedication to the music'.

Surprisingly, the Hunters do not seem at all upset at the giant hole they’ve blown into their budget, but rather more excited about the photos Stiles promises solemnly to email them all. Danny, recalling their 'album' cover, shudders in anticipation.

They leave minus some equipment, but with a few hundred in cash and a group of hunters staring in disappointment at the rubble of a collapsed conference centre. They were rather charmingly heartbroken about not being able to finish the conference. Convenient, really, Stiles thinks, because they never got past a playlist of 2 songs…

…

They drive back in high spirits, ignoring Danny’s occasional mutters about smoke inhalation. They’re about 2 kilometres out when Stiles thinks to ask Lydia- “Hey, which speaker did we pick up…” and is answered when a large explosion sounds from the conference centre and more plumes of smoke billow in his rear-vision mirror. Stiles winces.

“Not the one with the explosives, clearly,” Lydia says a minute later, inspecting her nails.

“Oh well!” Allison says brightly, stretching out in her leotard and enjoying the rays of the sun.

…

 

When they get to Derek’s house, there’s a hilarious tableau- Scott and Jackson attempting to convince Derek that Team Human were at the conference-

“…and Allison was rolling on the floor in a leotard…”

“…Stiles’ guitar-thing was shooting _fire_ …”

Derek (and Boyd, Isaac, Erica) look extremely sceptical, right up until they walk in the door. Only Kira and Peter appear unsurprised by Stiles’ slighty singed suit and Allison and Lydia’s leotards.

“…” Derek appears to be speechless.

“See?!” Scott yells, vindicated.

“I should have known,” mutters Isaac. Erica winks at them all, clearly delighted. Alison winks at Kira. Lydia stares coolly at Jackson, who shuts up immediately.

“You knew…” Derek finally looks at Peter, mildly accusingly.

Peter dangles his credit card with a grin.

“I hear it was a blast,” he grins.

Sometimes, Stiles almost likes Peter. Almost.

 

...   
  
_  
Hi guys,  
  
_ _band loved the conference. Hope to see you all next time!_  
  
  


 

(He sends Peter a copy too. After all, who else will pay for the replacement equipment?)

**Author's Note:**

> Also, watch Beautiful Target by B1A4. Just because. Consider it my gift to you.


End file.
